Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Telephone Call




                          From depths of sleep  heard  your voice

                         drifting through my  dream.  Do not recall

                        how  it came about that I was crouching over

                        the  telephone listening to your words in the dark
.
                        Disoriented from lack of presence or eyes to read,

                        guided solely by the tone of your  voice. But as

                        the  inference  of your speech  began  to seep in,

                        I respond with irony at first and then in a feline hiss

                        spat out my rage and  leapt away from instrument.

                        I continued though  to hear you still talking from

                        the dangling receiver, our contact now broken.

                        As  the poignancy of the  call  lingered on for days

                         I savoured  it like blood  one absently tastes

                         from  an unexpected wound.


                                                                                                                                       Antonia Baranov

6 comments:

  1. Very powerful and I love the last two lines.

    ReplyDelete
  2. In all honesty this does not read like poetry at all, not even free verse, but what it is , is a little hard diamond of prose. It is vivid, and the last five lines especially sharp . I like.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, it's prose with a poem hiding within to be excavated by cutting what isn't necessary x

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like it's feel of increasing sharpness as read progresses with crescendo in last two lines. I'm not sure if making it rhyme more will help retain its sharpness which is soul of this work.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Powerful with great feeling, I love this

    ReplyDelete
  6. A very sensitive write through which tender sadness prevails & transcends through write to settle in psyche.Lovey indeed :)

    ReplyDelete